What To Do When God Says No

Have you ever been in such a situation when God answered your prayer with a no? Perhaps you prayed to be cured of illness but didn’t get healed; or prayed for the salvation of a loved one, but they show no sign of repenting. Maybe you prayed for a child but remained barren; prayed to end up with a certain someone but watch him/her marry someone else or like me asked for long-awaited opportunities, but doors keep closing. 

When God says no it can be painful and devastating. Your heart breaks in so many pieces, you don’t know if it will ever be whole again. You don’t know what to do, or even how to hold on to your faith. I felt like that a few times.

I have been struggling with unemployment for almost six years. Ever since I graduated from college, I never worked with my degree. Last March, after many years of searching, I finally received my first job offer in my field.

It wasn’t just any job; it was my dream job! The position I have been asking God to give me for like ever. I was thrilled that God had, at last, answered my prayer and this long season was drawing to an end. Unfortunately, some complications beyond my control came up, and the company told me they might have to take back the offer.

I desperately prayed and asked God to fix the situation; I begged Him to let the offer stay on the table and allow me to get that job. Despite my fervent prayers, God said no, and the company took away the job offer a few days later. 

As you can imagine, I was devastated. I couldn’t understand why God would mess with me like that and didn’t quite know what to do next. Hence when God asked me to start a blog and laid this post on my heart, I was confused. I told God I didn’t know what to write because I didn’t know what to do when He answers prayers with a no. I asked Him to teach me what to do using an example from His word.

Surely, the Holy Spirit brought to my mind the case of a man who pleaded with God for a request, and God answered him negatively. As I prayerfully read over that story, I learned five valuable lessons. So, please join me in 2 Samuel 12 to know what you should do when God says no.

The story of interest is that of King David when he lost the baby he had with Bathsheba. Here is a quick recap of the story in case you are not familiar with it.

One evening, King David was on the roof of his house and saw a woman named Bathsheba taking a shower. David became enamored with her. He sent messengers to fetch her, they made love, and as a result of that, Bathsheba became with child.

But Bathsheba was a married woman; her husband Uriah was a general in David’s army and was away at war when the affair happened. When David heard Bathsheba had become pregnant, he made Uriah return from war. David tried to get Uriah to sleep with Bathsheba so Uriah would believe he was the baby daddy.

However, Uriah refused to enjoy the comfort of his bed, and wife while his men camped in the open fields. As it became evident that Uriah wouldn’t sleep with Bathsheba, David devised and executed a plan for Uriah to die during a battle. Afterward, David married Bathsheba, and she gave birth to his son.

God saw all this happen and was displeased with David. He pronounced judgment on David and his house and told David his newborn son would die. The Lord then struck the child, and he became ill.

It is right here when David pleaded for his son’s life, and God refused that I learned these five things to do when God says no.

1. Pray without ceasing

David, therefore, sought God on behalf of the child. And David fasted and went in and lay all night on the ground.

2 Samuel 12:16

The first thing to do is pray persistently without losing heart. You should keep on praying because there are occasions in the Bible when God pronounced a judgment but stayed His hand due to fervent prayers. For instance, in Exodus 32:7-14, when the children of Israel made and worshiped the gold calf, God was ready to consume all of them.

However, Moses pleaded with God, and God relented from the harm He intended to cause.

That is not to say that God will always “change” His mind. In 2 Corinthians 12:6-7, Paul said he pleaded three times with the Lord to remove a thorn in his flesh, but God didn’t do it. The principle here is to keep on praying because you never know when God may choose to be gracious.

When that company first told me they might take back the offer, I knew the chances of me keeping the job were slim to none. Nevertheless, I prayed daily and pleaded with God to let me keep the position.

Just like David kept on praying after God said the child would die, and Paul prayed a few more times after God said no, keep on praying too, notwithstanding how desperate your situation looks. Our God is a miracle worker.

2.  Allow yourself to grieve

And the elders of his house dtood beside him, to raise him from the ground, but he would not, nor did he eat food with them.

2 Samuel 12:17

When they first told me, they might remove the offer, I was heartbroken. I shed many tears before they even rendered their final decision. My family tried to be supportive and told me not to despair over it and move on; other opportunities would come.

If you have been a similar situation, you know how that kind of advice is unhelpful and even annoying. A lot of times, people want you to move on immediately and eat your feelings, but that’s not healthy. It is okay to grieve or mourn; it is fine not to be okay sometimes; only don’t stay in that state forever.

David allowed himself to weep over his son’s life. Others tried to make him stop and resume normal activities, but he refused and stayed on the floor. Similarly, when Job lost everything, he allowed himself to grieve and mourn for seven days and nights. Even Jesus had a time of grief after Lazarus died, even though He knew Lazarus would live again.

Allow yourself to grieve for whatever it is you may have lost. Don’t think you should stuff in it and move on because it’s may not be as big as the loss of a child or the loss of literally everything you have. All it means is that your time of mourning might be shorter.

3.  Turn to God and worship Him

But when David saw that his servants were whispering together, David understood that the child was dead. And David said to his servants, “Is the child dead?” They said, “He is dead.” Then David arose from the earth, and washed and anointed himself, and changed his clothes. And he went into the house of the Lord and worshiped. He then went to his own house. And when he asked, they set food before him, and he ate.

2 Samuel 12:19-20

When David received the news of his son’s death, he got up from the floor, cleaned himself, and went into the house of the Lord and worshipped. When I first read that, I was lowkey impressed and understood why God called him a man after His heart.

We don’t always turn to God and worship Him immediately after He says no. Most often, we question His decision; we lament or even walk away from Him. In my case, when the company took away the offer, my first action was to question God, to ask Him why He let this happen, why did He give my heart’s desire only to take it away before I could even enjoy it.

It is not wrong to bring our frustration and pain to God; in fact, God encourages us to do so. However, we should not stop worshipping Him in the face of disappointment and hurt. We should worship Him like David did after his son died, sing praises and hymns like Paul and Silas did when held captives in prison (Acts 16:25).

It is easier said than done, and you might not be able to that immediately, I couldn’t. After I lost the job, it was hard for some time to worship God, to go to church and sing His praises. Even praying and reading my Bible was a challenge.

If you are in a similar situation, it is okay. When Job lost everything, he had a time of questioning and accusing God too. The most important thing is not to rebel against God in your struggle or walk away from the faith altogether. Don’t follow Job’s wife ’s advice to curse God and die.

When God says no, and we fall to our knees, we need to get back up, turn to God and worship Him. No matter what we go through, God is good, and He is worthy of our worship.

4.  Accept God’s decision

He said, “While the child was alive, I fasted and wept; for I said, ‘Who knows whether the Lord will be gracious to me, that the child may live?’ But now he is dead; why should I fast? Can I bring him back again? I shall go to him, but he shall not return to me.

2 Samuel 12: 22-23

Ecclesiastes 3:1 says, “to everything, there is a season, a time for every purpose under heaven.” A beautiful poem follows it that you can read here. Following this line of thought, I believe there is a time to pray persistently and a time to accept God’s decision.

After the baby died, David accepted God’s pronouncement and prayed no more. David could have persisted and prayed for the child to live again; God had the power to accomplish that. However, David knew that sometimes God also answers prayers with a no, and he trusted God either way.

I didn’t have David’ s wisdom. After the company took away the job, I didn’t stop praying for it. I believed God could still fix it and even prayed that whoever they hired will lose the job so I could get it back. I kept on praying for the job for weeks before accepting God’s decision.

If we trust God when He says yes, we should also trust Him when He says no. If you wonder where to draw the line between praying persistently and accepting that God said no, I am afraid I don’t have an answer for you. I don’t think there is a formula that fits every situation. If you are in such a position, I can only advise you to pray and ask for wisdom. God will give it to you liberally (James 1:5)

5.  Expect beauty for your ashes

Then David comforted his wife,Bathsheba, and went in to her and lay with her, and she bore a son, and he called his name Solomon. And the Lord loved him.

2 Samuel 12: 24

When God says no, you can expect He will give you beauty for your ashes and turn your mourning into dancing.

Having accepted God’s decision, David went to comfort his wife and some. She became pregnant again and gave birth to another boy named Solomon. Just check out what God did with this child.

Solomon became the wisest man on earth second only to Jesus. He authored three books of the Old Testament (Songs of Songs, Proverbs, and Ecclesiastes), and built the temple of the Lord. Solomon was one of the greatest kings of Israel and had the most prosperous and peaceful rule of Israel. He had more riches than all the other kings of the earth and was so famous that Kings and queens from all over the world came to see him and learn from him.

God may or may not give you back what He took away, but He will surely work out everything for your good. He will take every ounce of your pain and tears and use it like a seed that will turn into a tree that will bear good fruits (Psalm 126:5-6).

Its been almost a year since I lost that job, and I haven’t been able to find any other position since then, and I am currently unemployed. I still pray and hope for a job and wish for this season to be over.

However, I am grateful for all the things God showed me through this experience, how it has matured me in my faith and got me closer to God. I am also thankful for the opportunity to be able to write this post and hope it will be an encouragement to you.

  Grace and peace to you!