What a Man Can't Do That a Woman Can Do

Before entering the blogosphere, I was blissfully ignorant of the theological issues that divided Christians. I have discovered that one of the hottest, most controversial one is gender roles. And it divides Christians primarily into two camps: complementarians and egalitarians.

From my understanding of the matter, complementarians believe God created men and women equally but with different roles in the church and at home. Egalitarians believe men and women are not only equal image-bearers of God, but they have equal opportunities and tasks.

As I am not married and don’t aspire to teach or preach, I never seriously pondered on my role as a woman in the home or church. But as I have been increasingly studying this topic, I find myself gravitating towards complementarianism.

The Bible affirms that God created men and women to perform different roles: men as leaders, and women as their helpers. One only needs to look at the trinity to see evidence of such design. Though all members of the Godhead are substantially equal, they each have unique roles and positions. The Son submits to the Father, and the Holy Spirit submits to the Son and the Father. Likewise, man submits to God, and the woman submits to a man (her husband) and God.

Although complementarianism beautifully reflects our triune God and the hierarchy within the Godhead, it is unpopular among several evangelicals.

With the rise of feminism and the female empowerment movement, any establishment that restricts a woman to a particular role is bound to face criticism. Unfortunately, this criticism comes from within the church as well as without. Within the church, it primarily comes from women who want to preach or hold the office of pastor despite the Bible forbidding them to do so.

As I was pondering over this gender role issue, I reasoned that perhaps it is so controversial because the discussion always centers on what women can’t do, but men can do. What if we turned the tables around and talked about what men cannot do, but that women can do? Maybe if women could see men’s restriction compared to our liberties, complementarianism would grow on us.

So I tried to make a list of things a woman can do that a man can’t do here. However, I am not well versed in biblical manhood and womanhood. I am still learning what the Bible says and unlearning what culture taught me. So, my list is quite small and simple.

At home

A man can’t be a stay at home dad

Biblically speaking, a man cannot stay at home and raise kids. His role is to be the provider of the family. So if a man works outside the home, he will spend about 40 hours a week away from his wife and children. Which means he will have about 24% less time with his children compared to his wife. It is a pretty significant number! A job, no matter how satisfying it is, does not beat spending time with your loved ones.

On the other hand, women do not have to work full-time jobs. We can stay at home, raise our children, and spend precious time with them that our spouse can only envy. What’s more important, investing in jobs that will pass away with the world, or in our family who have eternal souls? We have a tremendous blessing of raising and influencing the next generation in a way a man cannot.

A woman will bear a lesser judgment

A man is not the boss of his wife, and they should make decisions together. But when push comes to shove, the man is the one responsible for making the tough calls for the family. And as the head of the house, he will receive a stricter judgment than his spouse. To whom much is given, much is required.

Women do not bear that burden. And I like that. I don’t know about you, but I don’t like making hard decisions, especially if they will impact others. Sometimes I want someone to make the hard choices for me because I don’t want to face the consequences if I am wrong. It doesn’t mean that women should be carefree and let the man on his own, though. Ours is to support them and be their helper because whatever decisions they will make will affect the entire family.

At Church

A woman can teach other women

Women can teach other women and children. Paul Washer once said during a Q&A that if women only restricted their teaching to other women and children, they would still reach like 75% of the population. That’s still a decent size of the people, what will it profit to reach the whole world and forfeit our soul?

Women can share the gospel, participate in missions, volunteer in church, and can support the church in many ways without having to bear all the responsibilities that come with the office of elder or pastor.

A man can’t mentor young women

A man cannot teach women how to love their husbands and children and work at home. Man can surely give guidelines according to Scriptures, but it’s not their role to mentor young women to become godly wives and mothers. God has assigned this role exclusively to women.

To the best of my knowledge, the Bible doesn’t even instruct men to teach young men to be fathers and husbands, though they certainly can. God chose to include this calling uniquely to women, and it must be important.

Well, That’s all I got for now. As you can see, a woman has quite some good things going for her that a man doesn’t have. Of course, the opposite is also true. But the point of this post is not to prove one gender role is superior to another, but that they are different, equally good, and complement each other. And when we embrace God’s ordained roles for us, we honor and glorify Him.

So, ladies, let’s not be like Eve, who disobeyed God’s commandments, and set her eyes on the forbidden fruit when the entire forest was available.

Gentlemen do not be weak and passive like Adam, who not only stood by when Eve sinned but joined her folly.

Instead, let’s be like Jesus, who was obedient to the law of God even when it led to its death and who confronted the sin of His bride.

  Grace and peace to you!