Everyone wants to be happy. It is an innate desire given to us by our creator in whose presence there is fullness of joy and pleasures forevermore. The US Declaration of Independence even says, “We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.”
Unfortunately, we often pursue misery instead of the joy of the Lord. Elisabeth Elliot observed this and compiled an excellent list of ways we needlessly make ourselves miserable. I have shared her list below with a small commentary and counter ways to make ourselves happy.
1. Count your troubles
“Count your troubles, name them one by one—at the breakfast table, if anybody will listen, or as soon as possible thereafter.”
Constantly complaining makes us miserable and suffer God’s discipline. Look no further than the children of Israel for proof. Their non-stop complaining in the desert provoked God’s anger, and He made them wander in the wilderness for forty years. As a result, the people mourned greatly (Numbers 14:39).
Way to make yourself happy: Instead of complaining and counting your troubles, be thankful and count your blessings! Name them one by one and tell anybody who would listen to what God has done! A heart full of praise for the Lord always brings forth joy.
2. Worry without ceasing
“Worry every day. Don’t let yourself go out of practice. It won’t add a cubit to your stature but it might burn a few calories.”
Worrying accomplishes nothing except robbing us of our peace of mind and sending us to an early grave. Furthermore, it is an act of disobedience toward Jesus since He explicitly commands us not to worry (Luke 12:22-31). And disobeying Jesus always begets misery.
Way to make yourself happy: Do not worry about anything but pray about everything. We have a great friend in Jesus who cares deeply for us. And we have the immense privilege of carrying all our burdens to Him in prayer.
3. Feel sorry for yourself
“Pity yourself. If you do enough of this, nobody else will have to do it for you.”
Self-pity encourages us to look inward, focus on ourselves, and augment our self-importance. When we constantly feel sorry for ourselves, we play the victim as we are continually rehearsing our hurts. And this may lead to resentment, hate, or bitterness toward God and others.
Way to make yourself happy: Instead of looking inwards, look unto Jesus. As the Scottish preacher Robert Murray M’Chene, said, “For every look at self, take ten looks at Christ. He is altogether lovely.” And instead of feeling sorry for yourself and crying, woe is me, be thankful to God for your life and bless His Holy Name.
4. Serve two masters
“Devise clever ways but decent ways to serve God and mammon. After all, a man’s gotta live.”
The Holy Bible is replete with mutually exclusive choices. We can either be friends with the world or with God (James 4:4), children of God or the devil (1 John 3:10), live in the spirit or the flesh (Gal 5:16-18), serve God or money (Matthew 6:24). No one can have his hand in both jars, and trying to do so will only make us miserable.
Way to make yourself happy: Submit to the Lordship of Christ and surrender all to Him. Forsake the world and present yourself as a living sacrifice to Him. He is a gentle and lowly Master who will reward you for your faithfulness.
5. Compare yourself to others
“Make it your business to find out what the Joneses are buying this year and where they’re going. Try to do them at least one better even if you have to take out another loan to do it.”
Comparison is a thief of joy that breeds envy and discontentment. When we make it our business to keep up with the Joneses, we will never be satisfied with our lot. And our endless desire for more will ruin us in every conceivable way. Scripture warns us not to be covetous, for our life does not consist in the abundance of possessions (Luke 12:15).
Way to make yourself happy: Make it your business to know Christ and be known by Him. Instead of comparing yourself to others, compare yourself to Christ and seek to be more like Him. And learn to be content with whatever the Lord has given you.
6. Live your truth
“Stay away from absolutes. It’s what’s right for you that matters. Be your own person and don’t allow yourself to get hung up on what others expect of you.”
No man is an island, especially a Christian. God designed us to live with one another and depend on one another. Going alone and being detached from others is like taking away a wood stick from a bonfire and expecting it to remain aflame. Its fire will slowly but surely die.
Way to make yourself happy: Engage in meaningful fellowship with other Christians and regularly do the one anothers. Live in an intentional community with others and humbly recognize that you cannot do life independently.
7. Put yourself first
“Make sure you get your rights. Never mind other people’s. You have your life to live, they have theirs.”
Asserting one’s right and interest at the expense of others is contrary to Christ, who gave up His riches in heaven to become poor for our sakes. The less like Christ you are, the more miserable you will be.
Way to make yourself happy: Be humble like Christ Jesus. Philippians 2:3-4 says, “Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility, count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests but also to the interest of others.”
8. Be indifferent to the needs of others
“Don’t fall into compassion traps—the sort of situation where people can walk all over you. If you get too involved in other people’s troubles, you may neglect your own.”
Our God is compassionate and merciful, and He charges us to be likewise merciful towards others. It is evidence of our regenerated heart (James 2:15-17, 1 John 3:17), and one day He will judge us on the way we treated those in need (Matthew 25:36-40).
Way to make yourself happy: Be compassionate toward others and generous with your time, treasure, and talent. Proverbs 11:25 says, “Whoever brings blessings will be enriched, and one who waters will himself be watered.”
9. Set your mind on earthly things
“Don’t let Bible reading and prayer get in the way of what’s really relevant—things like TV and newspapers. Invisible things are eternal. You want to stick with the visible ones—they’re where it’s at now.”
Living in the now and neglecting to prepare for eternity might make us happy for a little while but miserable in the long run. This life is momentary and fleeting; eternity is what matters.
Way to make yourself happy: Turn your eyes upon Jesus and set your gaze on things above. Colossians 3:1-4 says, “If then you have been raised with Christ, seek the things that are above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth. For you have died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God. When Christ who is your life appears, then you also will appear with him in glory.”
You can find this list and other wonderful teachings in Elisabeth Elliot’s book, “Keep a Quiet Heart.”
