Faith Over Fear: Fear of Failure

This post is the first in a series, “Faith over Fear,” where I write about my fears and what I am learning from God’s Word to overcome them.

Faith or fear, a choice I must make,
for if one I bear, the other I break.

Confession time, I am afraid of roller coasters. They fill me with such dread that I always skip them at amusement parks. At times, however, my companions coaxed me into riding one with them. I typically spent those rides in silent terror with eyes closed and fists clenched. But I wasn’t always like that; I used to love roller coasters. There was a time when I rode them in screams of delight with eyes wide open and hands held high.

What changed me is an attraction at Six Flags called Scream.

Scream is a 205 feet tower ride that takes people about 20 stories high then drops them to their doom. At least it’s how I felt when it dropped me. I genuinely thought my heart would stop beating midway into the ride. Since then, Scream lurks in the shadow of every thrill ride I see and cripples me from trying or enjoying them.

And a similar scenario developed my fear of failure.

In its simplest definition, fear of failure is not endeavoring things because of the certainty of non-success. It occurs when our imagination makes up such vivid scenarios of an inevitable failure that it immobilizes us. As with roller coasters, my fear of failure started because of previous grim experience.

The two most notable ones are my failures in my relationships and career. At 28 years old, I don’t have any friends and have never worked with my college and graduate degrees. My repetitive attempts and failures at making lasting friendships or getting a job scarred me as the Scream ride did. It gave me many insecurities and sorrows that made me afraid of failing in other things. As a result, I am reluctant to try challenging ideas. Better to aim low and hit than aim high and miss.

For a while, I didn’t have grand dreams or aspirations for my life. And I would have remained paralyzed by my fear, if not for God.

For reasons I can’t fathom, God delights in using puny humans to accomplish His purpose. It means, if we follow Christ, it’s likely He will call us to do risky and challenging things for His kingdom. And when He does, we must choose faith in Him over our fears. The Holy Scriptures provides an example of a man who faced the same dilemma, and his story taught me the root cause and cure for my fear of failure.

This man’s name is Moses.

Moses is famous for his role in the Exodus. But before he led the Israelites through the Red Sea, before he told Pharaoh to let God’s people go, he was a man afraid of failure.

When God sent Moses to Egypt, Moses was reluctant. He was sure he would fail because he was slow of speech and tongue. It hit me because I behave like that. For instance, when God called me to start this blog, I had a lengthy list of reasons I was inadequate for the role, and I resisted His order. Pondering over Moses’ refusal made me realize the root cause of my fear of failure. It’s not merely my past experience, but my self-confidence and pride.

I think of myself—my strengths and weakness—too much.  I place my confidence in them and delude myself into thinking the outcome depends solely on me; that my weaknesses can thwart God’s plans.

Moses was so confident in his lack of eloquence that he refused to obey and asked God to send someone else. Likewise, I get so confident in my weakness that I don’t want to obey God. I also don’t want to fail because it will bruise my ego. I don’t want to feel the humiliation and embarrassment that accompanies failure.

Thankfully, God is not persuaded by the arrogance of men. There is a way out.

I used to think the cure to my fear of failure was a higher self-confidence. The world and many Christians tell us to believe in ourselves; we are enough and we can achieve anything we set our minds to do. That’s not the biblical prescription.

What we need to conquer the fear of failure is humility. It’s having less self-confidence and more God-confidence, thinking about ourselves less, and thinking about God more.

When Moses feared to fail, God didn’t give him a pep talk. He didn’t tell him to believe in himself or that he is enough. God told Moses He is the Lord. He would be with Moses’ mouth and teach him what to say. It wasn’t about what Moses could do; it was about what God can do. Moses only needed to have faith in God’s strength over the fear of his weaknesses.

That’s what we must do, for God’s power is perfect in our weakness.

This doesn’t mean we will never fail. As long as the sun rises and falls, God will allow us to experience failures. When fear paralyzes me because I want to preserve my delicate ego, I remember four things.

First, God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble (James 4:6). It’s better I suffer in humiliation than rejoice in pride. Second, Jesus can heal any sorrow. He will not abandon me in the dirt but will lift me from the pit of despair (Psalm 40:2, Proverbs 24:16). Third, my failures are not in vain. God can and will use them for my sanctification and His glory (James 1:2-3). Last, Christ did not fail. He conquered sin and death on the cross and made me a partaker of His victory (1 Corinthians 15:57). No worldly failure can threaten my success in Christ.

Conquering fear of failure isn’t easy. I still struggle with it, especially now that God has placed improbable dreams in my heart. But I know that He who called me is faithful. He will provide me with all I need to walk the paths he has set before me, even if they lead me through failures.

  Grace and peace to you!